"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
