She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Life is so much better after having sex.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
