Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize