dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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