I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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