Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
he thought i was a dude.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
