Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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