Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
