It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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