Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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