How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
