sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
