To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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