Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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