Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
