Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
