the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
