last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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