I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
