5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
