I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
