There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
