the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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