omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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