Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
i now understand why vodka
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
