More tranny stories later!
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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