I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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