my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
this just has baby written all over it
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
