Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
