YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
