Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
