1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're a waste of cheezeits
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Randomize
