im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
