it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Dignity is for republicans.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
