Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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