I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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