party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
