did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
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this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
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you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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