i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
