i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
