absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
