did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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