***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
