plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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