i jhust puked up my retainher.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Randomize
