dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
