I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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