yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
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Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
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Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I supernannyed him into submission
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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