btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Just pee around me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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