I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize