she woke up with a sticky ear
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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