Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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