Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
