Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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