I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
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When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
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She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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