I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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