Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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