Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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