I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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