you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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