I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize