The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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