I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
