In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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