STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
