hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
