just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
