there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
